In this blog post, I will look back on my embarrassing experiences in club activities in the past and talk about how such failures and shortcomings can become a foundation for growth.
After entering high school, two hectic weeks passed, and it was time to choose a club. There were many different clubs, such as classical guitar, band, and traditional Korean percussion, but since I had experience playing the ocarina before entering school, I decided to join the ocarina club. I chose the ocarina among the various clubs because I had been fascinated by its soft tone since I was a child. Unlike other instruments, the ocarina has a simple and pure charm that always made me feel at ease.
Many of the seniors in the class above us were interested in this club, and I heard that nearly 60 people applied. However, when I joined, not many people applied, and there were almost no experienced members, so I became the senior member and naturally became the club president. I was much more timid than I am now, and although I was confident that I could work hard in the club, I wasn’t sure I could lead it well. In addition, the ocarina had fallen out of popularity in our class, so I had little pride in the club and was even a little embarrassed.
Naturally, my love for the club waned, and I began to procrastinate. I managed to practice somehow and the school performance went well, but I felt that I was lacking in many areas, such as deciding on the songs to perform and assigning roles to other club members.
I was also indifferent to activities other than performances, such as recruiting new members and making announcements. I didn’t even properly inform the next president about what he had to do. As a result, the club gradually shrunk in size and lost its pride, eventually disappearing almost completely two years later. At the time, I was desperate to avoid every moment, but looking back now, I realize that my actions were truly wrong and foolish.
In particular, I feel very sorry and ashamed that I neglected a club that had been around for more than 10 years and that my seniors cared so much about, that I did not live up to the efforts of the seniors immediately above me in terms of performances and other club activities, and that, even as president, I was ashamed of the club rather than encouraging other members and working hard.
At the time, I didn’t think deeply about how my actions would affect the club as a whole. The biggest reason why I felt so inadequate was probably because I lacked confidence and conviction and just went with the flow. I was very conscious of what other people were saying about the club, and because of that, I even started to feel ashamed of the club myself.
Whenever the topic of the ocarina came up, I felt very intimidated. As a result, my other friends started teasing me about the ocarina, and as this continued, the situation got worse and worse. I think things would have been much better if I had been a little more confident. For example, when preparing for performances, if I had been a little more proactive, I could have asked my friends for help, and if I had been a little more assertive, I think I could have done a better job of deciding on and assigning songs for the performance. Also, if I hadn’t been so conscious of what other people said and appeared so unconfident, more new members might have joined, and the club might have continued.
Lack of confidence leads to lack of leadership. It is very important to do your own work well, but it is also very important to divide the work among everyone and lead others through that process. People who lack leadership appear incompetent because they are unable to lead others or change groups and are swayed by the opinions of others. At the time, I lacked confidence and was unable to lead a group, let alone myself, which made me appear incompetent. Through that experience, I learned that leadership is not something you are born with, but something you can develop through effort and experience.
Given the nature of my future career, confidence and conviction in my work will be very important. Making confident decisions based on my own analysis of the situation and having confidence in those decisions is essential for a career as a doctor, so I will have to work hard to overcome this weakness. However, based on my experience so far, I have found that the only way to overcome my lack of confidence and leadership is to change my way of thinking. Perhaps the only way is to go through similar experiences and improve little by little.
I am currently enrolled in college and am a member of a classical guitar club called “Arpeggio.” Similar to the ocarina, Arpeggio was popular among my upperclassmen, but not so much among my peers, and the number of members has decreased by half since the beginning of the semester. However, after a year of hard practice, my seniors entrusted me with the role of “soloist” for next year’s concert. Not only was the situation within the club difficult, but after watching other clubs perform recently, I began to feel ashamed of the club I belonged to. However, I want this time to be different from high school.
Even though I am not very good at playing the guitar and have no pride in my playing, I will work hard with the club president and other members to revive the club next year, and I will practice hard so that I can play without embarrassment at the concert. I will make this my primary goal for change in the future.
I am not perfect, but I am still a good person because I am trying to improve my shortcomings. Being aware of my own problems shows that I have potential for growth in the future. In addition, I have strengths that are the opposite of these characteristics. I lack confidence, so even when making the same decision, I think more than others and reconsider several times before making a careful decision. I don’t have strong opinions, but I listen to others and accept their opinions, so I don’t have many conflicts with others. Also, although I am not yet capable of leading a group, I am confident that I can do my best as a member of a group.
As you can see, I have many shortcomings and flaws, but I also have strengths that counterbalance them, and since everyone else is the same, I try to think positively about my flaws. Based on my experiences, I will move forward toward a better future. In the process of acknowledging and correcting my shortcomings, I am growing little by little, and this process itself is very meaningful to me.
Ultimately, what matters is how I act and what kind of mindset I have. I will not repeat the mistakes of the past. I will move forward with confidence and conviction, and do my best for myself and my club. This will not be limited to club activities, but will also be an important lesson for the rest of my life. I believe that my determination and efforts will accumulate and make me a better person someday.
