In this blog post, we will reflect on the loss, regret, and meaning of existence that we encounter through the death of a beloved pet.
I have loved animals since I was a child. I loved animals not simply because they were cute, but because of the mystery and awe I felt toward life. As a result, I ended up raising everything from chicks sold in front of my school for 500 won to hamsters, goldfish, rabbits, and dogs.
I met “Popcorn” when I was in fifth grade.
After begging my parents to let me have a puppy, they finally agreed on the condition that I would study hard and take full responsibility for raising it. And so, in 2003, I became Popcorn’s owner. However, before Popcorn could even get to know our family, he contracted pneumonia. Pneumonia is a dangerous disease for puppies, and even the doctors weren’t sure if he would survive, but he was admitted to the hospital for treatment.
I visited the hospital every day to take care of him, and fortunately, he gradually recovered and was finally discharged. Since then, Popcorn has lived with us. As befits a Bichon Frise, a breed known as the devil dog, Popcorn was energetic and lively. At home, he would play pranks and run around once a day.
He loved to play fetch, and no matter how many times we threw his toy, he would run after it and bring it back to us, waiting for us to throw it again. Of course, he also loved going for walks, and once we took him out, he would run around until he was exhausted. Unfortunately, as I was in middle and high school, I didn’t have much time to take him for walks. So, I took him out once a week to get some fresh air.
The average lifespan of a dog is about 15 years. They say that one year for a human is equivalent to about seven years for a dog. As I grew from a child into an adult, Popcorn grew from a puppy into an old dog. When I was in my third year of high school, with the college entrance exams approaching, I went for a walk as usual and came home. However, even after I got home and gave him a shower, he continued to pant heavily for several hours. He had always been short of breath due to complications from pneumonia when he was young, but this was the first time he had struggled for so long. I took him to the hospital, where he had an X-ray and was examined. The veterinarian said it was due to the pneumonia he had had when he was young. He had been fine when he was young, but it had become a problem as he got older. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take him for walks after that.
Popcorn still wanted to go outside and spent a lot of time looking out the window. While I was taking college entrance exams, attending college, and serving in the military, Popcorn grew older. He slept more and more and became prone to minor illnesses. I gradually began to think about death, something I had never thought about when I first got him. Death comes to everyone. No matter how rich or famous you are, you cannot escape death. Even Qin Shi Huang, who unified China, searched the whole world for immortality, but in the end, he could not escape death. In modern times, advances in medicine have made it possible to postpone death, but in the end, death comes to everyone. That time came for Popcorn too. It was a day like any other in July 2015.
Popcorn woke up in the morning, went to the bathroom, and was acting normal. Then he suddenly collapsed, and we rushed him to the hospital, but it was already too late. Popcorn was an old dog, so we knew this day would come, but it was still very sudden. For over 10 years, Popcorn would come into my room every day to wake me up, and he was always the first to greet me when I came home. Now he is gone. The thought that I would never see him again brought tears to my eyes. If I had known this would happen, I would have given him something delicious to eat yesterday and loved him more.
Even at this moment, someone somewhere is dying. However, the meaning of death is different for each individual. It depends on the relationship with the deceased. The sadness and meaning of death vary depending on how precious and close the deceased was to us. This is because death is the severance of interactions and relationships. They no longer exist. We feel sadness because we will never see again someone who was so natural and familiar to us. We may even feel regret. It is regret for not treating them well because we did not think that the end would come.
The various emotions we feel through death make us appreciate the present. If we have loved and treated others well, we will have fewer regrets in the sadness after death. No one can avoid death. Ultimately, a certain amount of sadness is inevitable. That is why it is important to appreciate those around us and do our best to minimize sadness.
No matter how much we think about death, the sense of loss and deprivation when we actually face it is great. The absence of a loved one is felt even more deeply. However, it is not all negative. Paradoxically, there are many things that we can only feel because of death. Why not think about death at least once?
