In this blog post, I’d like to talk about the kind of life I’ve always wanted to live and the values I’ve learned through that journey.
The day before my first June mock exam administered by the Korea Institute for Curriculum and Evaluation as a high school senior, I called my older brother—who is five years older than me—and burst into tears. Overwhelmed by the immense pressure and anxiety that had been building up, I just blurted out to my brother, “What if I can’t do as well as you? What if Mom and Dad are disappointed?” My brother, who must have been taken aback, just listened to me in silence. But the next morning, just as I was finally pulling myself together, I received a long text message from him.
“My dear little sister. Even Joseph—who was abandoned by his family, lived as a slave with an uncertain future, and eventually became the prime minister of Egypt—probably didn’t know he’d become prime minister until the very day before it happened. It’s natural to feel anxious, so it’s okay. But just like Joseph, I pray that something great and amazing will happen to you, regardless of your anxiety. I love you—I truly, truly love you—and I love you regardless of your test scores. No matter the outcome, your worth remains unchanged. I hope you stay humble and don’t let success go to your head. I hope you have a joyful and happy exam!”
That day, I received the best score of any exam I’d taken up to that point.
In my opinion, whether it’s a friend or a partner, the kind of person I want to spend my whole life with—and grow to resemble through the time we spend together—is someone who thinks deeply. First, a deep thinker naturally reveals the depth of their thinking through their words and actions, which are the most important tools for maintaining relationships. Rather than letting their moods carry them away and blurting out emotional words or acting thoughtlessly, they must be able to take responsibility for their words and actions after giving them sufficient thought. If my older brother had simply said, “Oh, it’s okay. Don’t cry!” right then to stop my tears while I was trembling with anxiety, my deep concerns would never have gone away. However, that night, my brother mulled over what I had told him and pondered how I could avoid being overwhelmed by that anxiety and instead accept it naturally; that’s why I believe that text message was such a great comfort to me.
Second, if someone thinks deeply enough to uplift the other person’s inner self, that person can help the other grow together in various aspects of life—such as mindset, language, and vision—through their own example. My brother is someone who has a firm belief in his inner self and his value as a person—in other words, he has high self-esteem. He’s short, has a big head, and can be a bit clumsy; plus, since he’d never been in a relationship by the time he turned twenty-five, he was often teased by those around him. While my family felt sorry for him and sometimes even got angry, my brother would always smile and say,
“That doesn’t mean I’m any less valuable!”
Not only that, but even though he had an impressive academic background—a degree from medical school—he never flaunted it, and he would always bow his head first to greet everyone he met. This was because he knew better than anyone that one’s worth isn’t determined by external factors like grades, appearance, or wealth. Therefore, he never judged others based on such standards, nor did he become overly elated or easily discouraged by external circumstances. My older brother has always emphasized this to me: that he loves me regardless of my test scores, and that I shouldn’t get too full of myself just because I do well in school, but should always do my best with humility.
In many moments of despair and anxiety, my brother’s advice has deeply moved and comforted me, and thanks to that, I feel that various aspects of my life are gradually changing. I no longer easily fall into self-doubt because of external factors like test scores or friendships, and I’ve started to think deeply before acting, rather than letting my words and actions be dictated by momentary emotions. Little by little, I’m growing as a person.
Just as I’ve been deeply influenced by my older brother and strive to be more like him, I hope to become someone who exerts such a positive influence on others that they’d want to spend their lives with me and aspire to be like me. I want to be someone who builds others up through words and actions born of deep reflection, and who constantly elevates my own worth.
