In this blog post, I will reflect on my shortcomings and talk honestly about what I think the ideal companion would be like, someone who can warmly complement those shortcomings.
I like myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t have anyone I want to be like. There are people whose ideas I want to emulate, people whose fashion sense I want to emulate, and people whose abilities I want to emulate. But I am still me. Rather than emulating others, I want to cultivate my own individuality and become someone that others want to emulate. So, in this article, I would like to write about my ideal type of partner.
I want the person who is with me to be someone who can make up for my shortcomings. So, in order to describe my ideal type, I must first talk about myself. I like most things about myself, but there are a few things I don’t like. First, when a problem arises, I tend to act cowardly and try to avoid it rather than actively solving it. Second, I tend to look down on things I have never experienced. Third, I tend to worry more than necessary and react sensitively to things that I consider important. I think this is because I have had problems in the past when I failed to handle important matters properly. When I have an appointment, I always plan three or four different routes in my head, worrying about what I will do if the bus is late or I miss the subway. Right after I submitted my university application, I couldn’t sleep for several days because I was worried that I might have uploaded the wrong files or that there might have been a computer error and my application wasn’t received. I hope that the person who will be with me can fill in these three gaps.
When a problem arises and I try to avoid it, I hope that they will remind me of how much responsibility I have for it. Of course, by taking responsibility, I may end up scolding that person. At that moment, I may dislike or scold that person, but when I look back on it later, I will surely feel grateful to them. When I am overconfident and underestimating something, I want them to point out my shortcomings and tell me how I can improve. Finally, when I am thinking too sensitively about something that is somewhat important, I would like them to calm me down. I would like them to convince me that things will not be as serious as I think, so that I can work comfortably. At the same time, I would like them to prevent me from becoming too lax.
It may be difficult to find someone who is my ideal partner. In a way, the person I want to be with has more characteristics of an assistant than a companion. It may seem selfish of me to choose an assistant as my ideal companion. However, the characteristics I listed above are just my ideal characteristics, and my partner does not necessarily have to have all of them. This is because these are problems that I can solve on my own. The reason I listed the characteristics in such detail is because I want a companion who can comfort me. The problems I mentioned above are, broadly speaking, that I often feel anxious, and the characteristics I am looking for in a companion are ways to specifically comfort that anxiety.
Therefore, the person who is closest to the companion I want is my high school friend, ○○○. ○○ is a friend who makes me feel comfortable when I am anxious. Just talking with ○○ about the things that make me feel anxious makes those feelings disappear as if they were never there. I still remember what ○○ said to me when I was in high school and was worried and depressed because my grades were falling. “If you have anything to worry about, come talk to me anytime. I may not be able to solve your problems, but just talking about them will make you feel much better.” Those words were a great comfort to me, and just having a friend like that gave me a lot of strength.
However, human relationships cannot be one-sided. Thinking about the qualities I want in a friend, I also think about what kind of friend I should be to that person. I think about what kind of friend I was to ○○ and how I can be a better friend in the future. Just as I want someone to fill in my shortcomings, I am determined to strive to be that person for someone else.
I should visit ○○ again after a long time. I want to express my gratitude to my friend who has supported me and comforted me whenever I felt anxious, and I will try to be a better friend to him. I think this kind of mutually supportive relationship is the ideal companionship. People shine brighter when they fill in each other’s shortcomings and support each other. I want to be that kind of person to someone.
