This blog post examines how smartphones and SNS have expanded human relationships and discusses whether the connections formed can achieve depth and satisfaction.
A survey of South Korean smartphone users revealed that over 70% spend more than 10 hours a day on their smartphones. Furthermore, a survey on smartphone usage patterns revealed that over 80% of smartphone users utilize messengers and SNS. While smartphones are devices packed with numerous functions, the primary functions people use are communication with others—essentially the phone’s core communication function. This clearly demonstrates how dependent modern people are on smartphones. As smartphones evolved beyond simple communication tools to become essential daily items, people became deeply intertwined with them, to the point where it’s difficult to get through a day without one. This dependency stems from the convenience and instant connectivity smartphones provide, starkly revealing the impact technological advancement has on our lives. The key difference from past mobile phones is that the scope of communication expanded beyond one-to-one to support one-to-many and many-to-many interactions. This became possible as technologies across various fields—electrical engineering, telecommunications engineering, computer engineering—advanced, enabling the processing and transmission of ever-greater volumes of data. Moreover, these technological advances opened the door to global communication, allowing people to routinely experience interactions that transcend national borders. This has transformed smartphones from mere communication tools into functioning components of a global network.
People can now access web services anytime, anywhere via smartphones to visit friends’ homepages, and anyone can easily visit and view content on their own homepage. Using these convenient services doesn’t require exorbitant costs either. In the past, when data communication networks were poorly developed, even minimal data usage incurred high fees. However, today’s widespread availability of stable networks and advancements in data transmission technology allow anyone to access high-quality communication opportunities at much more reasonable costs.
So, what changes have occurred in our relationships as it became easier to communicate with others than in the past? While many changes have taken place, the one that has significantly transformed human relationships is SNS. The development of SNS has rendered physical distance between people meaningless. Geographic location or time zones are no longer barriers to communication. This expands the scope of human relationships while enabling connections with a much wider variety of people. Using SNS makes it easy to receive updates from people around you and to upload your own news. Making friends is also simple, so having over 100 friends on SNS is not particularly difficult. It’s a service that reduces not just communication costs, but also the costs of forming relationships. While this technological advancement clearly has many benefits, it also brings significant side effects. As forming relationships becomes easier, the quality of those relationships often dilutes, frequently devolving into superficial connections. Next are various chat sites utilizing real-time web service technology and data communication networks. Most chat sites feature a system where anonymous users gather under a common topic to converse, and if they hit it off, they can arrange to meet. For example, they help people with shared interests—such as exploring restaurants, traveling, or dating—easily form groups. Joining such a site already signifies a common interest, eliminating the need to actively seek out others with identical hobbies or tastes. While these services offer new opportunities and enjoyment, they also carry the risk of fostering relationships lacking trust and responsibility due to their anonymous and non-face-to-face nature. Moreover, the online world has no geographical boundaries, making it easy to befriend people from other countries. Like SNS, it makes forming human connections easy and convenient.
However, despite this ease in forming relationships, modern people don’t seem to derive greater satisfaction from their human connections as a result. In fact, while the quantity of relationships has increased, the qualitative satisfaction often decreases. This is because people pursue instant gratification through technology while struggling to form deep connections. Even SNS alone is already recognized by internet addiction prevention counseling centers as a major cause of internet addiction, acknowledging its adverse effects. Excessive immersion in SNS often leads to confusion between real-world and virtual relationships, causing frustration that can trigger depression or escapism. Furthermore, relationships formed on SNS differ from the genuine social connection we experience. Research increasingly shows that having many followers or friends does not equate to actual social support or deep relationships. The satisfaction gained from human relationships is distinct from having numerous friends in the virtual world. Various chat sites also share similar drawbacks. Statistics indicate that relationships formed through chat sites tend to end relatively quickly. This phenomenon likely stems from relationships often remaining superficial and limited to one-time encounters. If forming human connections is easy and fast, replacing current relationships becomes equally simple. It’s also easy to meet someone else if it’s not that particular person. While not everyone is like this, the opportunity to choose someone else is a factor that makes replacement easier. This likely applies beyond romantic relationships. Services started with the intent of easily finding people who share the same hobbies or get along well can also make human relationships feel superficial.
Of course, technology has given humanity a great gift: it dramatically reduced the cost of communication. Where we once could talk to one person, we can now talk to five, or even ten in specific situations. This allows us to communicate more and talk more. However, people aren’t necessarily building relationships five or ten times better. This is because a simple numerical increase doesn’t mean a qualitative improvement in relationships. Rather, attempting to maintain many relationships often means less attention and energy can be devoted to each one, making it highly likely that only superficial connections remain. This simple proportional relationship doesn’t hold because in human relationships, quality matters more than quantity. Many recent relationship services focus their purpose on quantitative growth. They provide opportunities to make many friends and attend many gatherings through easy communication. However, these opportunities paradoxically diminish the satisfaction derived from human connections.
While individual differences exist, the amount of attention a person can give has limits. This is an insurmountable barrier rooted in the finite storage capacity and memory limits of the human brain. This constraint is a crucial factor determining the amount and depth of information a person can physiologically and psychologically process in a single day. Trying to absorb and process excessively large amounts of information ultimately leads to remembering nothing properly. Yet, the satisfaction gained from a single relationship doesn’t increase instantly. Only after investing a certain amount of attention, time, and communication can one form deep relationships and achieve satisfaction. However, an excessive number of communication opportunities conversely hinders the formation of close relationships. Just as planting too many seeds in a pot disperses water and nutrients, preventing any from growing, in relationships, attention gets divided elsewhere before reaching the point of deep satisfaction. This ultimately prevents the formation of profound bonds. Professor Kwon Seok-man of Seoul National University’s Department of Psychology classifies such relationships as superficial, defined as having many friends but no one with whom one shares genuine, deep conversations. People who form many superficial relationships are often awkward at forming deep ones, and these superficial connections can frequently have a negative impact on their identity and self-esteem. It is said that those who form many superficial relationships are awkward at forming deep ones and feel fear about sharing their deep stories with others. Superficial relationships are easily formed on SNS or chat sites, frequently leading to situations where the satisfaction gained doesn’t match the attention invested in the relationship.
Superficial relationships are related not only to the quantity but also the quality of communication. For example, communication online primarily relies on text and images. While this method is fast and convenient, it has limitations in forming emotional connections. The primary means of communication online are text and photos. While well-organized text and photos can convey one’s thoughts online, typical web services often limit interactions to brief text exchanges, such as exchanging greetings. Such fragmented information not only makes it difficult to maintain intimacy or bonds but also increases the potential for misinterpreting text. Another qualitative issue is the incompleteness of communication tools online. On chat sites, the only means to verify the other person are brief profiles and photos. Communicating solely through short texts with little background knowledge makes it difficult to determine if the other person is trustworthy or what their character is like. As a result, people often form distorted images of others, which can lead to unnecessary conflicts when forming actual relationships. This is because information like facial expressions and gestures, which can be obtained through face-to-face interaction, is lacking. Communication based on such insufficient information tends to foster superficial relationships rather than intimate, responsible ones.
These superficial relationships can become addictive, largely due to the novelty of the early stages. When first meeting someone new, having no prior information makes everything they say sound incredibly fresh. Some people become addicted to this initial novelty. Such individuals cannot tolerate the familiarity that follows the initial sweet novelty and cannot stop forming new relationships. This is psychologically linked to a desire to constantly pursue new stimuli. This tendency is particularly pronounced in modern society, acting as a factor that hinders the formation of lasting, deep relationships. These people often exhibit patterns of SNS addiction or group activity addiction, enjoying meeting new people but struggling to form long-term relationships.
So, we need to consider what we should do to solve the problem of falling into this addiction to superficial relationships. The first solution that comes to mind is to stop further development. However, halting technological advancement is both unrealistic and undesirable. Technological progress has brought many positive impacts to human society, and ignoring or stopping it would cause significant loss. Since these problems stem from scientific and technological progress, if we were to halt it and return to the past with fewer opportunities for communication, people would likely return to sharing their attention among a limited circle of those around them. However, halting technological progress is highly inefficient in reality. Scientific and technological advancement has achieved numerous accomplishments beyond human relationships, and it remains a value worth pursuing for the broader goal of improving quality of life. Yet, halting all technological progress solely because of one issue in human relationships is like burning down a thatched house to kill a bedbug.
Therefore, instead of stopping technological advancement, we must seek ways to use technology more wisely. This involves not only how we use technology but also continuously evaluating and adjusting its impact on our lives and relationships. The essence of this problem lies not in the advancement of science and technology, but in people engaging in too many superficial interactions with too many people. Science and technology merely provide the opportunity for such communication; whether to accept it is an individual choice. The outcomes can vary greatly depending on how people use technology. Without this awareness, technology can push us into a state of superficiality and isolation rather than enriching our lives. The opportunity to connect with others feels incredibly sweet. You can feel the freshness of forming new relationships quickly and get the sense that you’re building a broad network of connections. However, human relationships cannot be judged solely by numbers. Even if you have hundreds of friends on a messenger app, the number of people you can genuinely care about is limited. It’s necessary not to increase the number of people you care about beyond your capacity. There’s no need to deliberately limit relationships, but building fulfilling connections within your capacity will yield the greatest satisfaction over time. Rather than wasting time meeting countless people, seek out those who maximize your satisfaction in relationships. With those individuals, prioritize real-world communication over the incomplete exchanges of the web. Through this, people can finally grasp the true value of human connections and experience deeper, more meaningful bonds. In other words, selectively accept opportunities for communication while simultaneously enhancing the quality of that communication.
To achieve this, individuals using SNS, chat sites, and various relationship-building services should consider several things before forming connections. First, it is necessary to understand the maximum number of people one can genuinely invest attention in. As mentioned earlier, the amount of attention one person can give is limited. While the maximum capacity for attention may vary depending on circumstances or personal condition, recognizing that a limit exists and having a sense of where that limit lies is essential to prevent indiscriminate expansion of relationships. This serves as a crucial benchmark for individuals to recognize their own limits and form relationships accordingly. Understanding the limits of the attention one can give allows one to consider other factors that might分散 attention and determine the appropriate level of interpersonal relationships to form.
Once one understands the extent of interpersonal relationships they can handle, they should adopt a cautious attitude toward understanding the other person. This is particularly important when forming relationships online. Due to anonymity and the virtual nature of these spaces, people are more likely to exaggerate or present distorted versions of themselves. Getting to know someone is necessary in any relationship. However, online communication is inherently incomplete, demanding even greater caution. Users of SNS, chat sites, and similar platforms should remember that even if they feel they know someone well in the virtual world, the information they possess is often indirect, gleaned from brief texts and photos. Therefore, to enhance the quality of real human relationships, it is crucial to develop connections with others primarily through offline meetings whenever possible. Furthermore, even if someone appears trustworthy, communication conducted online is inherently limited by its indirect nature. To build intimacy and bonds, it is essential to remember that real-world meetings are necessary.
Ultimately, while enjoying the benefits of technology, we must deeply contemplate how to maintain and develop genuine human relationships within it. There is no doubt that science and technology are excellent tools for enriching human life. However, just as swallowing food too quickly can cause indigestion, blindly accepting the effects of technology without slowly considering its meaning and anticipating its potential impacts can lead to undesirable outcomes. To prevent this, we must take the opportunity to contemplate what kind of influence this technology truly holds and what its side effects might be. It is through such reflection that we can determine how we should embrace this technology and what aspects we must be cautious about. Currently, the development of technology is creating problems by offering an excessive number of communication opportunities and imperfect means of communication. To solve this problem, what we need is the discernment to accurately grasp how we should embrace technology and what it truly offers. Through such reflection, we can find a balance between technology and human relationships. By avoiding the attitude of haphazardly creating and managing relationships everywhere, and instead adopting an approach of carefully selecting partners, building relationships, and nurturing them with consistent attention, we can wisely utilize current services like SNS and chat sites.
